How to Cope with Divorce...Men and Women

Going through a divorce is not easy for any couple. However, although both soon to be ex-husband and ex-wife may be equally embarrassed, hurt and distraught, the experience is different for men than it is for women therefore, how a man or a woman will cope with the divorce is is also different. Some say it is dependent on who seeks/initiates the divorce, others say its much more complicated than that. According to the Divorce Seminar Center women initiate two thirds of divorces, because women are aware of problems in their marriage earlier and "studies show that divorced men report depression twice as often as divorced women".

MEN! An article in ezine articles states that when going about trying to pick your life back up after divorce men fall into a few basic categories that seem to come from your instincts. The first category is fight or flight, this is where men tend to flee from their troubles after divorce leading to denial of their problems. This is when men try to cope by drinking or sleeping around which can lead to depression. The second category is to fight. This is when men take on their troubles and hope to beat them, except that the real target is their emotions. (Image from Flickr) So men, distract yourself by getting out and enjoying the fresh air or spending some time with your friends, having fun. It may seem like an impossible thing to do whilst coping with a divorce but you will find it a lot easier to deal with if you have some time out with other company. Try to take your mind off your divorce and have a laugh. Avoid these categories!!!

WOMEN! A women and divorce blog states there are three steps you can follow to help you cope with your divorce. First take care of yourself, which includes securing your finances. Second, establish a support system, seek out the aid of friends and family and if you feel they are not supportive seek out a women's support group. Last, counseling is always beneficial never harmful. Counseling can help you process your lifestyle changes. (Image from Flickr) Ezine articles says that the first hurdle that you must overcome is this deadened feeling, and to do this is to make a list of things you need to sort out. This may not help you emotionally but it will get you focused on fixing your new life.

Remember coping with a divorce is a process, do not try and skip steps invovled in trying to deal with any grief. My adivce to both men and women would be to deal with your feelings, don't ignore them or fight them, it is normal to feel a variety of emotions after a divorce. Also, express yourself, if you feel that you need to talk about something find someone to talk to; do not alienate yourself from your loved ones and friends. The best advice I can give is to remember that although a chapter in your life is now over; your life isn't. It may not feel this way initially but you have to remember your future, set new goals and dreams in your new life!!!