When a couple decides on divorce the biggest question they will ask themselves is how will this effect my child/children? During a divorce whether parents want to believe it or not their children are affected, how they are affected may differ based on their age and gender, but none the less they are affected. Divorce for any child is a dreadful experience and according to divorce informationover 1million children suffer from the divorce of their parents each year. It is also discussed in the article that a child begins to have great fears when their parents start going through a divorce and those fears include, change, abandonment, and hostility between parents. Although my parents are not divorced, from my experience (after taking care of my nephews while my brother and sister-in-law at the time were going through a divorce) younger children because they don't understand whats going on tend to get more quiet, and subconsciously blame themselves. Younger children will not express how they are feeling in words but in their actions and many times it is up to the parent to reassure thier children that they are not to blame and that they love them. With my older nephew what I saw was a more inquisitive attitude, he questioned everything with, why? No answer was good enough because essentially what he wanted was everything to go back to how it "used to be".
A recent Hawaiin Blog discusses how depending on the child's age, emotional maturity, and happiness will result in how easy or difficult it will be for the child to get through the divorce. This blog also gives you four steps to help everything go smoothly, which include, reassuring the child of your love, letting your child grieve, and coming up with a good child custody schedule. Personally, I think watching you parents go through a divorce at any age has to be hard and children look to their parents for reassurance that everything is going to be ok, and without that a child can feel hurt. Children undergo great change during a divorce, changes include everything from changing homes, changing schools, to changing their responsibilities, many times parents after a divorce will put burdens on their child that include helping them financially and around the house. Parents need to remember that even though it may seem like its not affecting their child, it is. For more statistics on the effects of divorce on children you can visit, "The effects of Divorce on America.com". To show affection and love to your children is a necessity during a divorce and sometimes because of their own stress and pain of the divorce parents tend to forget that...
My blog Debating Divorce discusses the different issuesand topics surrounding the idea of divorce. I have been with my fiance for 9 years now and although we've never even considered breaking up the idea that after we get married we could get divorced, scares me.
It is my hope that Debating Divorce can help some marriage in any way possible. For example, if you are considering divorce but you don't know why, maybe my post on technology affecting divorce can help you realize that maybe all of the technology in your life has gotten in the way of your marriage. Or, if you think you want to consider divorce but you have children, maybe my post on how divorce affects children will make you rethink divorce and try one last time to work on your marriage. At which point you can refer to my post on preventing divorce. Lastly, if you realize you haven't found Mr. right and you have decided a divorce is what you want, you can refer to my post on the different types of divorce, to maybe find that there is a divorce out there that will be easier on you and your spouse.
So week after week I will continually post different blogs discussing and relating to different issues that arise when people are considering that scary word "divorce", because whether or not a couple or a person is ready to get divorced is an issue one can constantly debate within themselves. Hopefully, Debating Divorce can help you!!!
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